Choosing the best dildo might be scary. Your first thought when you hear the word “dildo” may be of dick-shaped, veiny silicone penises, but there is a lot more variation out there. Many dildos aren’t even penis-shaped. Some are sleek and smooth, like a vibrator (without the vibrations), while others are textured with bumps and grooves.

Our sexologist, Jackie Queen, helped us understand the basics of dildos so you may shop with confidence.

Bigger is not necessarily better.

Unless you know that bigger is healthier for your body, a giant dildo may not be for you. “First, recall any enjoyable penetration experiences—or unpleasant ones—and try to estimate the size of fingers, objects, penis, or whatever it was you enjoyed or disliked. So pick wisely,” Queen tells Glamour.

Other essential parameters are girth (thickness) and insertable length. “Don’t force it if it’s not pleasant! “If you want to use a dildo by hand, just hold it around the base of the shaft,” Queen advises.

Recognize vibrators and dildos.

While being creative with the greatest sex toys is fun and nearly always recommended, you’ll get the most out of them when you understand their function. Dildos are intended for insertion and do not generally vibrate unless an accessory is purchased (there are lots of vibrating dildos available). Insertable vibrators are designed to, well, vibrate. “There is some overlap, but dildos are the toy for folks who prefer penetration,” Queen explains.

Do dildos cause orgasm?

It depends on your use. A dildo may not deliver much clitoral stimulation compared to a penis. If you possess a vulva and want to use your dildo while touching your clit or vibrating, go for it. You may grind on a vibrating dildo at an angle to target your G-spot and clitoris. Anything is possible with sex toys.

Use a dildo for anal orgasms. Anal dildos can assist cisgender women to reach orgasm by indirectly stimulating the vaginal A-spot. Prostate stimulation may allow cisgender men to orgasm (i.e. the P-spot). It depends on the dildo’s form and characteristics; you may need to play with the skin between the balls and anus.

Yes, with experience and learning your body’s preferences, you can orgasm with a dildo.

Dildo-friendly materials

According to Queen, the safest material is the simplest to clean. “Silicone, glass, metal, and hard plastics are the easiest to clean. If you pick one of the tougher to clean fabrics, wear a condom with it.” One material to avoid is jelly rubber, which contains phthalates, a chemical softener that some consider harmful. “Good Vibrations no longer carries this item, and we do not promote it. “It’s also the most porous,” says Queen.

Finally, lubricant is strongly advised with your dildo.

The same goes with dildos. Queen informs Glamour that their material has more friction than flesh, so mix your dildo with your favourite lubrication for the best results. If you’re using a silicone toy, use water-based lubrication like Astroglide’s Toy ‘n Joy Liquid instead.

Now that you’re an expert, here are some of the greatest dildos to try.